Feeling better already

If you've been reading my last few posts, and watching the videos, you'll notice that I've been more worried than excited. 

However, I'm starting to feel better.  Which is good because surgery is HOLY CRAP NEXT WEEK! Not that I'm excited or anything.  :)

And as the title says - I am feeling better. 

I've quit drinking.  I've quit drinking because I think that I really do have a problem.  For a while I was having 2-3 drinks a week..then a night...then I was going into work tired and slightly hungover.  I've never missed work because I've been too drunk. Okay except for that one time.  But I've had some issues come up because I was drinking.  Nothing major - just a few fights with friends that wouldn't of happened if I hadn't been drinking.

I attempted to have a glass of wine last night for my husbands birthday - but after not drinking for just a week - I didn't even like the taste! And I had a half a glass and got buzzed. I poured out the rest.  It's not what I wanted. 

I'm really trying to find the balance between what my brain, heart, and body wants.  It's pretty hard though when I've got this never ending stream of demands! 

My brain wants:

New shoes chocolate a vacation a raise a nap a cheeseburger a drink another drink more naps to not work a cupcake a new car a new wardrobe that necklace I saw at macy's the other day those other pair of shoes I saw online new duvet covers for the bed to paint the house to get another puppy to be skinny to be fabulous want want want

When does my brain want it? NOW! What specifically? ALL OF IT!

My heart wants:

To be loved. A baby. Another baby. To be Happy. And above all - to be happy.

My body wants:

Vitamins, water, fresh air, a beautiful meal with all the colors of the rainbow in it, and yoga.

Somewhere among all the parts of me - "I" am there.  So someday, when I say "I want..." what I want will be exactly what each of my parts truly needs at the moment.

My therapist says I need to start talking to my brain as if it were a child (which is exactly what it sounds like - like Veruca Salt).  So instead of caving in after minutes/hours/days of begging, tantrums, and negotiating and then feeling guilty afterwards I should say- "hm that's interesting I get that you want a cookie but lets try this chocolate "milkshake" first and see how we feel afterwards".  Still working on this concept. But I have a feeling it'll get easier as time goes by. 

Anywhoooo....time to get some work done. :) Only 6 more work days till my "birthday"! :)

Brain: Will there be cake!?
Heart:  *hugs* Happy Early Birthday!
Body: OMG this chair sucks - totally wasn't listening - lets go outside!

See what I'm talking about!!?

Protein Shakes and Toxic Friends...I haz both.

Please keep in mind that these are MY opinions and I highly recommend that you request samples of any protein shakes that you purchase online. :)

Me talking about doing some spring cleaning..erm..summer cleaning.

So far my favorites are (in order of tastiest):

Click Protein (omg is so fabulous!!)
Unjury Chocolate Mix
Unjury Chicken Soup - it's good to me - but I've heard people HATE it.
Optifast Chocolate
Optifast Vanilla
Eating Raw Dirt
Optifast Strawberry

Happy taste testing!

Final Tasks before surgery.

There's a shot of a visualization cd that you can listen to prior to surgery. :) (btw....it's really hard for me to say "visualization" without sounding drunk.  At Dr. Zare's Office

My medical ID Bracelet

This is my pretty shiny bracelet.  I ordered the ID online and made the bracelet myself. :) google Lauren's Hope for id tags in multi colors :)

Mid Life Crisis?

I'm wondering if all these hope-y/change-y feelings I'm feeling are steming from some kind of mid life crisis? Had a bad day at work yesterday so I spent some time thinking about my job and career. 

Ultimately I think I want to keep this job and I probably will- even though it's totally unfulfilling. 

21 Days to Form a New Habit

This weekend was great!! Spent lots of time cleaning and organizing the kitchen to get ready for this big change. 

Here are couple videos on that  :)

21 Days Pt. 1

21 Days Pt. 2

Showing off a new time lapse app (OSnap! - spiffy!)

Message Boards and Underwear

OMG I'm so random today..

And the coolest thing on the FB Group (Bariatric Bad Girls Club - rocks!)

One Word

What would your one word be?