Feeling better already

If you've been reading my last few posts, and watching the videos, you'll notice that I've been more worried than excited. 

However, I'm starting to feel better.  Which is good because surgery is HOLY CRAP NEXT WEEK! Not that I'm excited or anything.  :)

And as the title says - I am feeling better. 

I've quit drinking.  I've quit drinking because I think that I really do have a problem.  For a while I was having 2-3 drinks a week..then a night...then I was going into work tired and slightly hungover.  I've never missed work because I've been too drunk. Okay except for that one time.  But I've had some issues come up because I was drinking.  Nothing major - just a few fights with friends that wouldn't of happened if I hadn't been drinking.

I attempted to have a glass of wine last night for my husbands birthday - but after not drinking for just a week - I didn't even like the taste! And I had a half a glass and got buzzed. I poured out the rest.  It's not what I wanted. 

I'm really trying to find the balance between what my brain, heart, and body wants.  It's pretty hard though when I've got this never ending stream of demands! 

My brain wants:

New shoes chocolate a vacation a raise a nap a cheeseburger a drink another drink more naps to not work a cupcake a new car a new wardrobe that necklace I saw at macy's the other day those other pair of shoes I saw online new duvet covers for the bed to paint the house to get another puppy to be skinny to be fabulous want want want

When does my brain want it? NOW! What specifically? ALL OF IT!

My heart wants:

To be loved. A baby. Another baby. To be Happy. And above all - to be happy.

My body wants:

Vitamins, water, fresh air, a beautiful meal with all the colors of the rainbow in it, and yoga.

Somewhere among all the parts of me - "I" am there.  So someday, when I say "I want..." what I want will be exactly what each of my parts truly needs at the moment.

My therapist says I need to start talking to my brain as if it were a child (which is exactly what it sounds like - like Veruca Salt).  So instead of caving in after minutes/hours/days of begging, tantrums, and negotiating and then feeling guilty afterwards I should say- "hm that's interesting I get that you want a cookie but lets try this chocolate "milkshake" first and see how we feel afterwards".  Still working on this concept. But I have a feeling it'll get easier as time goes by. 

Anywhoooo....time to get some work done. :) Only 6 more work days till my "birthday"! :)

Brain: Will there be cake!?
Heart:  *hugs* Happy Early Birthday!
Body: OMG this chair sucks - totally wasn't listening - lets go outside!

See what I'm talking about!!?